glasspaperclip: (Bob/Gerard // Post sex)
[personal profile] glasspaperclip
Dirty Talk
(474) // (Light R. Crack.)
Bob Bryar/Gerard Way
Bob sighs. Next time he wakes up hard, he’s going to keep quiet about it and jack off by himself.
For The Bandom Talks Dirty Challenge @ [ profile] brandixcyanide [here] + #011 - Language @ [ profile] fanfic50
Not mine. Not at all. No, no.
Betalove to [ profile] sorrowful_eagle


“Listen, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“No? Why not?”

Ignoring Gerard’s clueless expression, Bob sits back on his heels and considers his options. Not that he has many: it’s either give Gerard what he wants in order to get some (which is also the main reason why they’re both awake at fucking three am), or forget about sex and turn back to sleep.

At the moment, the latter sounds rather appealing.


Bob flinches. The subtle approach, ‘play it low and pretend you haven’t heard anything he said’, has never worked with Gerard. He needs to get his answers straight, a plain ‘yes’ or ‘no’ without beating too much around the bush.



“Why not? Because it’s stupid. It’d be embarrassing and it’d make me feel ridiculous. Can’t we just have sex the old fashioned way? Like we always do?”

“Bob, that’s bullshit. Why should you feel embarrassed? Look,” Gerard replies and gestures around, exactly as he does when someone tries to interview him, “we’re all alone, the door is locked and it isn’t that we don’t know each other. Come on, how many times have I seen you wasted? And I helped you with the bandages when your leg was rotting off, I wiped your forehead when you got food poisoning… remember that? You were puking your guts-“

Gerard. This is exactly what I want to be reminded of in moments like this.”

Bob sighs. Next time he wakes up hard, he’s going to keep quiet about it and jack off by himself. As for now, he has to give in: Gerard’s getting upset, when he’s upset he starts talking, and talking Gerard isn’t something Bob is ready to deal with in the middle of the night.

“Alright, alright. Just once though, okay? ”

Gerard nods and pats the sheet, wanting him to come closer. He’s got an expectant look on his face (fuck, he’s so cute that Bob can’t help but kiss him, even if he’s being a pain in the ass), but it soon gets replaced by a rather confused one, right after Bob has complied and given him what he wanted.


“What?” Bob asks, frowning.

“I didn’t hear you. You whispered and I didn’t hear anything.”

For a moment, Bob is tempted to bang his head against the wall. Just when one thinks that it can’t possibly get more awkward…

“Slut. I said slut,” he blurts out, rolling his eyes. He’s never felt so ridiculous in his whole life, not even when he got mocked by Jonathan Ross on TV, and that’s saying something. Before he could reiterate the concept though, Gerard starts laughing.

“Is this your idea of talking dirty in bed? You’re so stupid, Bryar. Stupid and funny, I like it.”

“Well, I…”

“Shut up, silly.”

Still chuckling, Gerard pulls Bob under the sheets.
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