glasspaperclip: (Bob/Gerard // Post sex)
[personal profile] glasspaperclip
Dirty Talk
(474) // (Light R. Crack.)
Bob Bryar/Gerard Way
Bob sighs. Next time he wakes up hard, he’s going to keep quiet about it and jack off by himself.
For The Bandom Talks Dirty Challenge @ [livejournal.com profile] brandixcyanide [here] + #011 - Language @ [livejournal.com profile] fanfic50
Not mine. Not at all. No, no.
Betalove to [livejournal.com profile] sorrowful_eagle


**

“Listen, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“No? Why not?”

Ignoring Gerard’s clueless expression, Bob sits back on his heels and considers his options. Not that he has many: it’s either give Gerard what he wants in order to get some (which is also the main reason why they’re both awake at fucking three am), or forget about sex and turn back to sleep.

At the moment, the latter sounds rather appealing.

“So?”

Bob flinches. The subtle approach, ‘play it low and pretend you haven’t heard anything he said’, has never worked with Gerard. He needs to get his answers straight, a plain ‘yes’ or ‘no’ without beating too much around the bush.

“Bob?”

Shit.

“Why not? Because it’s stupid. It’d be embarrassing and it’d make me feel ridiculous. Can’t we just have sex the old fashioned way? Like we always do?”

“Bob, that’s bullshit. Why should you feel embarrassed? Look,” Gerard replies and gestures around, exactly as he does when someone tries to interview him, “we’re all alone, the door is locked and it isn’t that we don’t know each other. Come on, how many times have I seen you wasted? And I helped you with the bandages when your leg was rotting off, I wiped your forehead when you got food poisoning… remember that? You were puking your guts-“

Gerard. This is exactly what I want to be reminded of in moments like this.”

Bob sighs. Next time he wakes up hard, he’s going to keep quiet about it and jack off by himself. As for now, he has to give in: Gerard’s getting upset, when he’s upset he starts talking, and talking Gerard isn’t something Bob is ready to deal with in the middle of the night.

“Alright, alright. Just once though, okay? ”

Gerard nods and pats the sheet, wanting him to come closer. He’s got an expectant look on his face (fuck, he’s so cute that Bob can’t help but kiss him, even if he’s being a pain in the ass), but it soon gets replaced by a rather confused one, right after Bob has complied and given him what he wanted.

“Uh…”

“What?” Bob asks, frowning.

“I didn’t hear you. You whispered and I didn’t hear anything.”

For a moment, Bob is tempted to bang his head against the wall. Just when one thinks that it can’t possibly get more awkward…

“Slut. I said slut,” he blurts out, rolling his eyes. He’s never felt so ridiculous in his whole life, not even when he got mocked by Jonathan Ross on TV, and that’s saying something. Before he could reiterate the concept though, Gerard starts laughing.

“Is this your idea of talking dirty in bed? You’re so stupid, Bryar. Stupid and funny, I like it.”

“Well, I…”

“Shut up, silly.”

Still chuckling, Gerard pulls Bob under the sheets.

Date: 2008-05-23 11:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nightxparade.livejournal.com
MOAR!

I loved it =DDDDDD

Date: 2008-05-24 09:29 am (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
:D thanks!

Date: 2008-05-23 11:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ice-cold-hands.livejournal.com
HAHA. This is simply the best <3

Date: 2008-05-24 09:29 am (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
Hey, thank you so much! :D

Date: 2008-05-23 11:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mcr-angelbaby.livejournal.com
I love awkward Bob. :)

Date: 2008-05-24 09:59 am (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
Same here, the way he struggles with what Gerard wants from him is just cute :D

Thanks for reading. :)

what writer's block?

Date: 2008-05-23 11:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] noheadlines.livejournal.com
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
I AM LAUGHING OUT LOUD RIGHT NOW. OH MY GOD.

My favourite part of this, just so you know, is Gerard reacting by laughing. It's just so perfect.

Re: what writer's block?

Date: 2008-05-24 10:39 am (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
:D:D:D

My writer's block is here, lurking, but I'm trying to ignore it and go on with everything (deadlines, they're glaring at me).

Yes, Gerard's Great'n'Sexy DT Plan has gone wrong, but he's no guy to hold a grudge :D I think he suspected already that Bob wasn't so good at talking dirty.

Date: 2008-05-23 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iosonosara.livejournal.com
AWW, è carinissima e stradivertente!

Diciamo che mi fa da "favola" della buonanotte XD

Date: 2008-05-24 10:15 am (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
Grazie! Sono riuscita a non scrivere smut pur avendo uno smutty prompt, haha XD

Tempo fa mi avevi chiesto se avessi qualche consiglio per evitare di scrivere clichés pur avendo clichés come prompts. Non me ne sono dimenticata, ho trovato la risposta solo ora: trasla la situazione per cui devi scrivere in RL. In questo caso l'ho fatto perchè non avevo voglia di tirare fuori la tremillesima storia in cui X e Y si eccitano con il dirty talk, perciò ho pensato a come avrei potuto sentirmi io se fossi stata al posto di Bob (dopo aver smesso di ridere, s'intende XD). Per una volta mi sento piuttosto soddisfatta del risultato. :D

Date: 2008-05-24 02:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iosonosara.livejournal.com
Prego!

E grazie per il consiglio: è un ottimo metodo, lo applico molto spesso pure io per mantenere i sentimenti, le reazioni, i gesti dei personaggi più realistici :D

La mia preoccupazione era più che altro quella di non cadere nello "smelenso" scrivendo fluff. Ora, per me è impossibile far cariare i denti alla gente perché non fa proprio parte della mia persona e questo mi causa una sorta di blocco verso il genere.

Lo so che non tutto il fluff deve essere per forza "smelenso" (e, allo stesso modo, se una fic è p0rn non è necessariamente volgare - ma con il p0rn non ho problemi, è solo un esempio :P), però mi blocco comunque a scriverlo, ecco XD

Ad ogni modo, ultimamente, qualcosa sono riuscita a sfornare. Quindi (forse) sto trovando il mio spazio all'interno del genere...

{E la reazione di Bob è assolutamente adorabile e realistica!}

Date: 2008-05-23 11:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fuckhaterzzz.livejournal.com
lmao!
Nice job.

Date: 2008-05-24 09:31 am (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
Thank you! :D <3

Date: 2008-05-24 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bryar-x.livejournal.com
I'm still squealing. HOLYSHIT. That's just......
You've successfully satisfied my need for Bobard. <3333333

Date: 2008-05-24 09:56 am (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
Thank you :DD

Date: 2008-05-24 04:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lupilups.livejournal.com
awwwww Sweet Bob is Sweet!!! Though I'd love hit to talk dirty to me ^_^ I just can't imagine him doing it, tbh...

<33

Date: 2008-05-24 09:28 am (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
Me neither :D I don't think there's anything wrong with dirty talk, but I know that if in RL, my husband comes up with something along the lines of 'ohh, I'm your whore, baby, I'll split you open, uhhh', I'd laugh forever. I tried to translate that into fic, haha.

<3!

Date: 2008-05-24 09:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brandixcyanide.livejournal.com
Can we talk about how awesome you are for writing this for my meme? *chinhands* almost as awesome as Toro's powerstance.

Date: 2008-05-24 09:55 am (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
:D thank you for hosting it, it has been fun to write. Memes are a great help to fight my (sort of) writer's block. :)

Date: 2008-05-24 01:45 pm (UTC)
x_dark_siren_x: (Default)
From: [personal profile] x_dark_siren_x
^_^ Now that amuses me. More than it should.

He’s never felt so ridiculous in his whole life, not even when he got mocked by Jonathan Ross on TV, and that’s saying something. Now that definitely amused me more than it should! Poor Bob - he's blond, not ginger!!!

Date: 2008-05-28 10:22 pm (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
:D Thank you!

That Ross' mention was a bit mean, but oh my god, so funny! The way he was blushing was utterly adorable. :D

Date: 2008-05-28 10:27 pm (UTC)
x_dark_siren_x: (Default)
From: [personal profile] x_dark_siren_x
And the way the others - epecially Gee - just sat there and laughed at him, and he was kinda O.o so shocked this was happening. ^_^ *giggle* Have you seen him recently? My friend's calling it his grunge-look, she says it's hot. *shrugs* His hair's now longer than mine, and so obviously blonde. LOL

Date: 2008-05-28 10:45 pm (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
Seen him? Dude, on my journal I have a Bob related post with random 'HAIR!' comments every other day. XDXD My fangirlism, let me show you it XD

[Seriously, it's embarrassing. Uh. Anyway.]

They were all laughing their ass off and Bob was of the same color of the tapestry, haha. And the face scrunching thing he did with his hand? Adorable.

Date: 2008-05-28 11:22 pm (UTC)
x_dark_siren_x: (Default)
From: [personal profile] x_dark_siren_x
Dude, I need to put you in touch with my friend (her name's Frankie O.o) - except she's not a slash fan :( - but she loves teh Bob. She has a homemade tee she wore when we saw them last March saying BOB BRYAR he bags OH BABY he bangs LOL

Yes, it was uber cute. I wanted to just him on the head and be all, "N'awww, Bobby."

(Btw, your icon - ugggghhnn.)

Date: 2008-05-24 03:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tempore.livejournal.com
Did I mention that I love this and think it's fabulous? :D I want to see more Gee/Bob dirty talk! And other things. :)

That said, just as a hint: the angel au I have going? There's going to be a bit of Bob (not much, and not graphic, so you'll have to tell me how he holds up in it, kay?).

Date: 2008-05-28 10:28 pm (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
Hey, thanks! I got the idea while I was thinking about something else and I decided it was worth a try, haha. Besides, it gave me a great excuse for not writing porn in a porno meme. :D

I saw it! [Bob/Spencer, I believe?] Now that my connection should be up and running again, and not as unstable as it has been in the last few days, I'm going to catch up with it. :)

[Not graphic? Good. Not much? Tsk! I firmly believe that Bob should always be the main character, haha XD]

Date: 2008-05-28 10:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tempore.livejournal.com
You'll love the graphic Lupi made in the comments, then. :)

Date: 2008-05-24 05:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xx-anarchy-xx.livejournal.com
Instant WIN for the Jonathan Ross reference!
Loved this.

Date: 2008-05-28 10:30 pm (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
I couldn't pass up that, I had to mention it. :D

Thank you!

Date: 2008-05-24 07:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] annie-bean.livejournal.com
haha! that's so cute!
slut is bob's idea of dirty talk!! awww!
*giggles* bob and gerard are so cute together!! :D

Date: 2008-05-28 10:32 pm (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
Thanks :D yes, I really think that even RL Bob couldn't come up with much more than a half-hearted 'slut', haha. XD

Date: 2008-05-25 10:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatsername-d.livejournal.com
BOB!

it's so awkward and so silly and so adorable. i love this. =D

Date: 2008-05-28 10:34 pm (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
Thank you! 'Awkward' is the key word here, poor Bob. :D

Date: 2008-05-25 07:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deadbbekickball.livejournal.com
haha adorbleeee. :D

Date: 2008-05-28 10:34 pm (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2008-05-27 09:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thatso-rad.livejournal.com
Slut. I said slut Haha! Well, Gerard is a jacket slut at least.

Trying to talk dirty is always cringeworthy (uh in my experience anyways) so Bob recieves my sympathy...
You mentioned Jonathen Ross! Woo!
Looove it.

Date: 2008-05-28 10:39 pm (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
Precisely! I know I couldn't take it seriously, not even if I tried my best, so I decided I wanted to write a 'not your regular dirty talk' fic. It isn't that everyone is skilled at it, haha. :D

Thank you! :)

Date: 2008-06-02 07:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bullets2black.livejournal.com
lol the jonathan ross thing... so very amusing
bob is awesome :D

Date: 2008-06-23 06:50 pm (UTC)
ext_33154: (Default)
From: [identity profile] zephyrina.livejournal.com
Sorry for the delay :( Lj doesn't always email me comments.

Yes, he is :) thank you for reading!
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